The "F" That Became an "A": and a little about Jake

Coming off of a very low report card last 9 weeks, we were pleasantly surprised at the results of some positive changes Jake made during this 9 weeks.

Our philosophy on report cards revolves around improvement. We don't anticipate straight A's from each child, but we do keep certain expectations.  
#1) No missing assignments! We very strongly believe that if you put forth effort and complete/turn in all of your school work, you will not receive anything less than a C. Fittingly, Jake's lowest grades were the result of several missing assignments, homework that was forgotten in class, or conveniently pushed down to the bottom of the backpack. As a 6th grade student, Jake is responsible for completing his own work and asking for help when he needs it.  
#2) Good behavior! While Jake is probably the sweetest and most caring student you could ask for, he makes up for it with his lack of focus. The teacher is lecturing on circumference and diameter, and Jake is reading under his desk.  
#3) We reward for improvement and give consequences for not meeting our expectations! First to go are video games and computer time, and the most serious offenses result in time alone brushing up on some required reading. When the kids bring up a grade or maintain it, we are quick to praise and offer a special reward. It doesn't matter the letter grade, we focus on effort.

If you know me personally, you know my thoughts on ADD/ADHD medications and school age boys. I'm not open for argument on the topic (discussion sure!), but I would like to share Jake's story.

We ALWAYS hear the same opening line to Jake's conferences, "Jake is such a sweet and loving boy. Such a pleasure to have in class; however..." And then they go on to describe him as spacey and unavailable. We went down every possible avenue for his benefit, while still trying to keep in mind that he was just a growing boy after all (growing boys would much rather be outside playing!), and steering him far away from ADD/ADHD pills.

Jake was referred by his second grade teacher for occupational therapy and a psychological evaluation. We met together, and ultimately decided to avoid medication (at my insistence) and try various behavior modification techniques. Jake was given less work at times, or his work was divided up, and he was consistently given visual cues from the teacher and by his parents to pay attention or redirect himself.

Despite our efforts both at home and at school, little improvement was seen with the exception of the end of his 4th grade year. A lot of the success depended on the adult guidance he was getting. In 4th grade, Jake had a set of teachers that were clone worthy. They devoted hours of extra time to helping Jake grow, and as a result, he made honor roll! He had also lost his xbox privileges for the previous 9 weeks due to continuous missing assignments, which I think was a real eye opener for him. It was the first time we had given a harsh consequence for school related issues.

We anticipated 5th grade would be better after his miraculous 4th grade year; however, it was all back to the "same old Jake". Once he entered into 6th grade, we were advised by some friends that it was selfish to deny Jake possible medical intervention because of personal feelings on ADD/ADHD over medication. Coming from any other family member or acquaintance I likely would have been insulted, but from the mouths of these particular friends, I felt ashamed that I had allowed myself to become so closed minded. Was I truly acting in Jake's best interest or just in a way that let me avoid feeling like a failure as a parent? Jake's dad had been asking about possibly going through another ADHD evaluation again, and I stubbornly insisted that he was still just a growing boy who could care less about school.

Shortly after this Jake received the lowest of the low report cards...an F, a D, and two C's.

That "F" really hit me much harder than I saw it hit him. It was time to veer away from my narrow path, and explore some medical options. We first went through Jake's pediatrician who evaluated him physically and looked through all the records I had kept from his previous 2nd grade observations.

Jake also suffers from tics. He has gone through various cycles since he was just 2. We started with throat clearing, moved onto nose sniffing, wrist twisting, and now it's facial flexing and neck tilting. This has never been a major problem until Jake's 5th grade year when another student slammed Jake's head into a tree because he "wouldn't stop moving his face". Due to his tics and my epilepsy, Jake was referred to a pediatric neurologist who read his beautiful brain waves and did a formal ADHD evaluation with myself, Luke and two teachers.

The results were sad and somewhat surprising. I chose two trusted teachers, and they both answered nearly identically to what Luke and I had done. The handful of doctors we saw diagnosed Jake with Tourette's Syndrome, ADHD, and OCD.

That was the bottom point, and from there you can only go up! Jake was started on a moderate dose of a common ADHD medication and an additional pill to help relax his tics.

I cannot stress enough how valuable the support from my husband and Jake's father were at this time. We avoided telling family and friends for awhile because we wanted to have results to back up our choice before we heard the very criticism that I myself would once have given.

Just 9 weeks later, the results were astounding! Jake's teachers all report a noticeable change in his ability to retain information, his motivation, his focus, and most importantly...his confidence. He went from feeling like a failing student, to knowing he was capable of far more than that. He trusted his body to react to the medicine he was taking, and went with the flow from there on. After the first week, Jake said to me, "Mom, I feel like I can hear whole sentences now instead of being interrupted by my brain."

This most recent report card was all A's, B's and one C which was a 77.8% in his most difficult subject. The science grade that was once an F, has become an A. His test scores went from below 60%'s to 100%'s. My heart is full of pride, love, and appreciation for how hard Jake has worked to turn himself around. We all recognize that his medication is not a cure all, but rather an aid to help jump start his brain, so he can push himself to his full potential.

Please take a minute to congratulate Jake and encourage him to bring up that C to make honor roll for his last 9 weeks.