Whiskey Tango Moths

My personal greatest joy from raising children hasn't come from their unconditional love, their adoring looks of admiration, the generous compliments from patient strangers, or the piles of handcrafted notes and gifts. No, the moments I hold nearest and dearest to my heart are when some phrase uttered from their innocent mouth stops me in my tracks and has me seriously thinking how complex those little minds are. Now onto the story...


My three lucky boys were given the disgusting task of clearing and wiping out the pantry shelves to eradicate our problem pest...the common kitchen moth. It hasn't been a pretty last couple of hours. We're finding leftover cereal bags that have now become cheap moth hotels, and opened boxes of pasta that baby moths (aka worms) are happily munching on as fuel for their growing bodies. Probably the most disturbing are the hundreds of moth nests lined up in the crevices of the shelves just waiting to hatch open and start their worthless life cycle all over again.

Alex says, "I bet thewe's a lot of moths getting mawwied in thewe."

How sweet is the simple logic of a newly six year old? A little background information: just before the gerbils had their babies, we pronounced the mom and dad husband and wife once we found Tibby, the dad, happily riding piggy back on his fiance, Megan. What a beautiful wedding!

I have to be realistic here; I don't expect my children to follow in footsteps that I myself did not lay. Jake was an out of wedlock baby, and he is well aware that his father and I were married when he was nearly a year old. Therefore, I feel like a hypocritical mother teaching them that babies are the product of matrimony. My lesson of choice is that babies should be made with love and preparation. There is nothing more wonderful than being ready to parent a child, and most people just aren't until they've found a suitable mate and settled into a comfortable life first.


Regardless, Alex has deduced that the moths must have somehow performed an abundance of wedding ceremonies deep in the nooks and crannies of our pantry in order to be setting up shop and creating families at every corner.

I COL'd (chuckled out loud since it wasn't quite enough to be a LOL) when I overheard this conversation...

Toby says, "I bet they didn't get married and that's why there are so many of them."

Jake says, "If they were ready to be parents then there would only be a few moths because they'd have been responsible and had a normal number of babies. But because they weren't married yet, the men moths had babies with ALL of the girl moths instead of just his wife."

Toby says, "Irresponsible moths. Now we're losing money on all our food because we have to feed all these babies."

Jake says, "I wonder how long it would have been until the babies found boyfriends and girlfriends and had a bunch of their own babies? Then we'd really have been losing money."

Then he shouts, "MOM! How long does it take for a moth worm to become an adult?"

And now for my moment...Toby says, "I wonder if Wal-Mart has moths."

Damn, I love my kids.

The Silver Linings of My Nightmare

(This is a copy of my note I posted on my facebook page, but I wanted it for reading here as well.)

Tuesday night, I made a debatable decision to allow my 11 and 9 year old sons to stay home by themselves while the others and I traveled 20 minutes away to dinner. Our neighborhood is historically safe. Our home is well-kept with locks on every door and window. A 6 foot privacy fence surrounds the perimeter of the yard, and bolts shut at the 2 gates. The choice I made was preceded by a thorough check of the main locks, including the one on the back door that was damaged a few months prior and no longer latched securely. After a failed try for possible success with the broken lock, I came to the conclusion that the bolted wooden gates enclosing the yard would be enough to replace the faulty door for the next 2 hours while I was away. The boys were given their instructions, a cell phone, a kiss, a hug, and an I love you. The segment of my brain I call the "mom mode" momentarily noted the importance of always saying "I love you" before we leave, no matter the conditions, since you just never know, right? At ease though, because I know they will be enjoying 2 free hours of xbox time, we drive away.

1 hour into our dinner, Toby's number appears on my caller ID, and I was greeted by an alarmingly calm voice telling me that he heard the unlocked sliding glass door open and shortly after slam shut. Blatant panic came next, mingled with an attempt at reasoning with myself over how serious this situation was. It is entirely possible that this is an imagined mess born from the nerves of a 9 year old that heard a noise. His next discovery was the "men standing by the white chair" outside the back door with two "tiny, long flashlights that were pointed inside the door". In addition to that, Jake tells me he can hear quiet voices outside his open window in the front yard near our main door.

My first thought was to call a friend who I knew was closer than I to the house, and my children. She was there within moments, and able to tell me the once bolted wooden gate was now wide open and inviting to strangers. There was nothing to reason with any longer. My situation had taken on nightmare qualities.

This was one of those thoughts I had pushed aside when I walked myself through the "what if" consequences of leaving the older boys home alone. Terrible things most certainly can happen anytime; however, there is that point in motherhood where you allow your children gradual freedoms, and you realize you have to work around those bad thoughts because you feel confident you've taken the proper steps to ensure their well-being.

Long story short, whoever briefly entered my home left just as quickly, and without any criminal damage. There was no forced entry, theft, or violence thankfully. Just a robbery gone wrong because my 2 sons were there. My friend was able to remove the boys from the house without any problems, and take them away to safety. The police were waiting for me, and on my arrival had already made a sweep of the house to ensure it was indeed absent of anyone that didn't belong.

It appeared the worst had ended because my most valuable possessions were back safe with me. Really though it is truly only the beginning. The security of my home was violated, and is now null and void. Even mending the broken lock provides little peace. Ultimately, we are not a family of dwellers, we are a family of get over it and move on-ers. At whatever financial cost, Luke and I decided to turn the physical guarding of our residence over to a trusted company. I have the stickers and signs decorating my property for proof of purchase.

Whether or not an 11 year old boy is old enough to babysit his 9 year old brother for 2 hours on a Tuesday night is a personal decision to be based on the maturity level and confidence of the child, as well as the state laws in your area. By writing this note, I take responsibility that I am opening that argument to someone who wishes to have it, although it will not be had by me with you.

These are my silver linings...
#1: I can change nothing from then, but everything from now.
#2: Using the check in feature facebook provides is a great way to alert a stalker that you are away from home.
#3: Sharing the excitement about purchasing a gigantic 55 inch TV maybe wasn't such a smart idea.

It doesn't often happen, it probably won't happen, but bad things can happen to the little people we are responsible for. We were fortunate to have avoided anything more than a haunting story to tell. I tagged my mother friends, and shared this publicly in hope it will encourage you to check your locks.

If I write it, I know you'll come

Writing makes me happy, and lets me indulge in my natural need to share my thoughts with no one in particular. I have a horrible habit of finding random outlets to plug my tidbits into; however, it never fails that I slack on it.

Let's start with an update...our lives are full! Full of happiness, sadness, new adventures, challenges, crimes and punishments.

Baseball season is mid swing, which means that my spare time belongs to my boys. Jake is having "his" season so far. He's at the top of his age group, so his hits are naturally going to be bigger, and his plays are realistically going to be more involved. It's been a joy to watch him develop into a productive member of a great team! Toby is right there with his brother on the minor A A's. For being one of three 9 year old's on the team, he's doing fabulously. You couldn't ask for a cheerier child to spend your Saturday afternoons with. Alex is destined for baseball greatness....I just know it. This little lefty never wants to leave the field, and smacks that ball nearly into outer space when he's up to bat.

I'm trying hard to get back into my couponing. CVS sent me a letter and said they missed me, and Publix keeps asking why I'm paying full price for my groceries when I could be saving at least 75%. Good question Publix.

Wish me luck!